On the outside chance Santa hasn’t completed his 2022 naughty and nice list, I’ve made some notes that he might find helpful. First, the naughty list.
Sam Bankman-Fried and anyone who benefitted from the money he stole. That includes Tom Brady, Stephen Curry, Trevor Lawrence, Shaquille O’Neal, Matt Damon, Kevin O’Leary and Larry David. And scores of politicians, all of whose names we don’t yet know.
Theranos fraudsters Sunny Balwani and Elizabeth Holmes. Bill O’Reilly and Brett Farve. BLM executives who used donated funds as their personal piggy bank.
Janet Yellen and anyone else who so confidently spoke of transitory inflation. Anyone who seriously uses the phrase “Putin’s price hike.” Randi Weingarten. The election officials in Maricopa County, Arizona. Herschel Walker and Me Me Lee.
The Detroit drug gangs who operate with seeming impunity in Knoxville. Any government official who hires a private company to do something that would have been illegal for them to do themselves.
White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre, who is paid to communicate, but regularly misuses the words “was” and “were.” Jesse Watters, Jeanine Pirro, Tony Romo and every color commentator on noon college football games.
Anyone who subscribed to CNN+. The 3,500 now former Twitter employees whose absence apparently has no effect on the company’s operations; what were they doing all day?
The Heisman Trophy voters, the CFP selection committee, Kirk Herbstreit, Jeremy Pruitt, Casey Pruitt and Hugh Freeze. Anyone who hires Hugh Freeze. Outgoing NCAA president Mark Emmert; good riddance.
My wife’s new dog; the thing is possessed.
Climate activists who protest the use of fossil fuels by gluing themselves to priceless pieces of art – using petroleum-based adhesives.
Now for the nice list.
Any nice list must start with Dolly Parton, although the likelihood of Santa overlooking Dolly is zero.
The nice list should also include Sam Venable, Hallerin Hilton Hill, Robin Wilhoit, Sterling Henton, Marsha Gourley, Dave Foulk and Chris Marion.
Taylor Swift, who turned down a reported $100 million to join the celebrity sell-outs touting crypto-fraud FTX.
The lone coder at Twitter who is keeping the doors open. CNN Chairman Chris Licht; the changes are already noticeable.
Danny White, Hendon Hooker, Josh Heupel, Rick Barnes, Karen Weekly, Tony Vitello and the Neyland Stadium facility and turf crews. Trey Smith. Offensive linemen. All of them. Always.
Mike Leach; swing your sword high, my captain.
Miranda Lambert, Darius Rucker, Tom Hanks, Denzel Washington and Keanu Reeves.
My UPS and FedEx delivery guys. Whoever decorates the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree. The folks who clean downtown and those who charge the scooters every night. Waffle House waitresses working Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.
My wife and kids. My Fat Larry guys; you make me better.
David Moon is president of Moon Capital Management. A version of this piece originally appeared in the USA TODAY NETWORK.