Rather than bore you with another syrupy Thanksgiving week column about gratitude, here is an extremely abbreviated list of things that irritate me this year.
Bacon packaging, potato chip bags and ice cream so solidly frozen that it bends my spoon. Restaurant menus longer than 4 pages. People who leave 5 seconds on the microwave timer.
TV meteorologists who say, “looks like we’re in for some weather tonight.” We always have weather. People who complain about the end of Daylight Savings Time “robbing” them of an hour of daylight. Just get up an hour earlier.
People who are habitually late, and then blame it on being busy. The busiest, most successful people I know are habitually early.
Microsoft Word. I know that the possessive form of “it” doesn’t have an apostrophe; why doesn’t Bill Gates?
People who gratuitously declare their pronouns. People who moralize about the virtues of urban living, then complain about the irritations of the people all around them.
People who think delaying a football game or gluing themselves to art is effective activism. People who protest without understanding what they are protesting.
Television announcers on noon college football games. ESPN needs to purchase a case of Harbrace Handbooks. Deion Sanders, Holly Rowe, Pat McAfee and Lee Corso. Does anyone else think it is strange that you’ve never seen Lee Corso and Joe Biden at the same time?
People who complain that WNBA players are underpaid without explaining who should pay them.
UT fans who still wear number 98 national championship jerseys. Please quit reminding everyone that it has been a quarter of a century since the Vols won any football championship.
The following words and phrases: reimagine, nothing burger, curate and weaponize. “Absolutely” when used as an entire sentence.
Blaming homelessness on a lack of affordable housing. What is affordable for someone with no income? Entitled young people who expect free stuff. Entitled millionaires who expect free stuff. Developers who expect free stuff. Politicians who bribe voters with other people’s money. Politicians who get a pay raise moving from the private to the public sector. Public buildings named after politicians.
Joe Biden. Donald Trump. Uninformed voters. Uninformed politicians. Politicians in general.
Empty KAT buses. Empty charging station parking spots at the airport. People who think “they” should do something. “They should put a homeless shelter in the old Marriott.” “They should have free internet.”
Student loan borrowers who don’t pay their required interest payments and then act shocked when their principal balance increases. Anyone who thinks schools should teach personal finance. Less than a third of U.S. 8th graders are age-proficient in math. Maybe “they” should work on that first.
David Moon is president of Moon Capital Management. A version of this piece originally appeared in the USA TODAY NETWORK.